Falling off the wagon, and how to get back on it … EKPCN’s best advice for getting back on the wagon after the festive season
Although the Christmas period is often perceived as the 'most wonderful time of the year' as we all know, this is most often not the case for many people. 2023 has been filled with the side effects of the global COVID-19 pandemic: a cost-of-living crisis, energy crisis, food crisis, housing crisis, the dissolving of families, bereavement, increased (social and general) anxiety, barriers to education and healthcare and many more. Although self-isolation, quarantine bubbles, and zoom quizzes are now distant memories, the effects of the pandemic still live on, with some research stating that we are in the 'COVID decade' and hypothesising that the long-term effects of the Covid-19 pandemic could stretch over a decade (The British Academy and the Government Office for science).
On top of all this, Christmas can be a difficult time of year for many people. This is due to many socioeconomic reasons such as financial strain, practical difficulties such as finding childcare, family issues such as bereavement or estrangement, loneliness and health and wellbeing challenges such as vast amounts of temptation around health, food, alcohol, and drugs. Further, the pressure to be happy and enjoy the time of year can be enough to tip anyone over the edge.
The festive period is a standard time for people to fall off the wagon when it comes to their diet, smoking, and sobriety. Here are our best tips and advice for getting back on the wagon.
1 - Reflect
Before you rush to punish yourself or fall into despair over your recent relapse. Take some time to reflect on the relapse. What is the nature of your addiction, and what benefits do you think the substances or behaviours you are addicted to give you? It's easy to think of the negatives surrounding addiction. Still, if we focus on what we feel or think we may gain from these behaviours, it will help us understand our addictive tendencies better and learn new ways of dealing with the root of the problem. For example, does drinking alcohol help you to distract yourself from negative emotions? If this is the case, you could look at some healthy coping mechanisms like therapy, exercises, and hobbies and create a 'toolbox' to turn to before reaching for the bottle.
After you have learnt more about the nature of your addiction, reflect on what was happening in the days, weeks or months leading up to your relapse. Were you facing stress at work? Have you stopped doing the things you enjoy more than usual? Learning about what was happening before can not only help you to recognise your triggers but can also help you to learn the warning signs a relapse is going to happen so you can intervene quicker.
Reflect on the consequences of your relapse. Did it cause strain on your relationships, harm your self-worth, or make you act in a way you are not proud of? Did you lose money? Take some time to sit with these consequences and remember why you chose to stop your addictive or unhealthy behaviour in the first place.
Finally, reflect on how far you have come; a relapse can cause us to forget that the road to a new lifestyle is long and not straightforward. Remind yourself how well you have done.
Here are some journal prompts to help with reflection on your relapse;
What do I gain from this behaviour?
What other more healthy choices could give me the same rewards?
What was happening in the build up to the day I relapsed?
Are there any particular people, places or emotions that make me feel like I should partake in unhealthy, addictive behaviours?
What were the consequences of my relapse?
How has my relapse made me feel physically and emotionally?
What skills have I gained in my journey to sobriety?
What is something I can do now that I previously struggled to do (e.g. asking for help, admitting I have a tendency to engage in unhealthy behaviour
2 - Forgive yourself
After relapsing into unhealthy behaviours and doing the thing you promised you'd never do again, it is straightforward to fall into a state of disappointment and even self-loathing. Firstly, remember it is not uncommon to relapse, with 40-60% of adults with addiction relapsing at some point in their recovery journey. In fact, many believe that relapsing and learning how to get back on track is part of the recovery journey. No journey to sobriety or lifestyle change runs in a straight line. When you learn how to forgive yourself in recovery, you are allowing yourself to have more peace of mind to move forward in your recovery more successfully. After all, self-loathing, disappointment and anger toward yourself are going to make you more likely to turn to your self-sabotaging and unhealthy habits. Allow yourself to feel like you deserve happiness and the lifestyle you have dreamed of.
Ways to practice forgiveness;
Think of each setback as a learning experience, and think of the knowledge you have gained.
Notice your thoughts, and challenge those thoughts when you are having negative self-talk. For if you think, 'I'm never going to achieve what I want to achieve or be able to live the life I want', question it, ask yourself, why not? Flip that thought to a more positive viewpoint: 'When I achieve my goals, I am going to feel so grateful and happy.'
3 - Seek support
If you are not already a part of AA or NA or have a fitness buddy – seek one out. Making a whole lifestyle change is an arduous journey, and it is made so much easier by going through it with someone by your side.
A sound support system is essential for keeping yourself accountable and motivated and giving yourself a sense of belonging and purpose. Speaking to people and connecting with people on the same journey as you can be a profoundly healing experience and help you realise that you are not alone.
Here is a list of local support;
- Connect Wiltshire / Turning point – support with substance abuse https://www.turning-point.co.uk/services/connect-wiltshire
- AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) https://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/AA-Meetings/Find-a-Meeting/swindon
- UKNA – (Narcotics anonymous) https://meetings.ukna.org/meeting/search
- Wiltshire Council weight management https://www.wiltshire.gov.uk/article/1150/Weight-management
4- Small steps forward
Finally, remember the importance of routine and small achievable goals. Don't set yourself up for failure with unachievable goals; for example, if you are currently not doing any physical activity and eating 3000 calories a day, don't challenge yourself to work out 6 times a week and restrict calories to 1200 (on this note – never restrict your calories intake to 1200 per day).
Sometimes, looking to the future can seem daunting, and your goals may seem so far ahead, but remember that you will get there one step at a time. Focus on the small steps, not the far distance. Your steps and goals can be as small as needed; this is your journey and can not be compared to anyone else's. For example, you could start by researching local support groups/ fitness clubs; you could even reach out to get more information before you commit to going.
An excellent example for those using AA/ NA is to get yourself a '60 second' chip and remind yourself that you just need to get through the next 60 seconds. These 60 seconds will slowly but surely add up to an hour, a day, or a week. Adding structure to your day could be simple, such as going to bed at the same time every night or adding a fitness class to your routine once a week. If you need help, you can always contact your health and wellbeing team within your GP surgery.
Tips for setting small achievable goals;
Listen to our podcast episode from Alice Cassidy, health and wellbeing coach, on how to set and achieve goals.
Put pen to paper: writing your goals down has many advantages.
If you fail – readjust; maybe the goal you have set out to achieve is impossible right now; make it even smaller and start there.
SMART goal for those who have fallen off the wagon over Xmas
1 - Put pen to paper and use some journal prompts in this post's reflection section.
If you have any questions or need support, please contact the wellbeing team via the website or email bswicb.ekpcnadmin@nhs.net. And please keep us updated on how you are getting on with your SMART goal – we are here to support you.
Written by Josie Hopkins, Social prescriber for The Old School House Surgery (Great Bedwyn) and Burbage Surgery.
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